


Yesterday’s Paradise

by euphoricxdystopia



Category: Phandom/The Fantastic Foursome (YouTube RPF)
Genre: AU, Angst with a Happy Ending, Apocalypse, Birth, Blood, End of the World, Hospitals, M/M, Mpreg, Phan - Freeform, Pregnant!Dan, Vomit, parent!phan
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-04-06
Updated: 2018-04-06
Packaged: 2019-04-19 05:27:26
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,344
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14230278
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/euphoricxdystopia/pseuds/euphoricxdystopia
Summary: "I-I should get help - like the doctor-"Dan managed to shake his head - a mistake that caused the static white noise in his head to turn into a searing migraine from a brilliant cocktail of dehydration, labour, and the apocalypse. "I-I don't want - anyone here." He groaned, and Phil's heart caught in his throat because not having the one person in their group who knew what they were doing was even more fucking terrifying than how it already was. "Just you."Or... It's the end of the world - dystopian chaos and everything -, but Dan is having their baby. Holy fuck...





	Yesterday’s Paradise

**Author's Note:**

> AU where anyone can bare children, regardless of their gender. it's not an omega!verse, nor is dan a 'carrier' – just a universe where anyone can get pregnant, but it's also the apocalypse! fun times. ~(˘▾˘~) it's a bit graphic, not too bad, but be cautious anyway, if you're squeamish (• Ε •) see tags for tw(s).

 

The dull ablaze sun was barely breaking through the darkness of 4AM when the screams – that were so embedded into the air of the present day – had already begun their sadistic choir.

Human and infected alike: they screamed. That was their only similarity, to which the surviving portion of humanity would give them that. Infected cried because they craved, they were rabid and they were hungry and it was true that humans didn't understand – they screamed because they had lost themselves, but would never know it.

Humans cried because they knew what they had lost. They were hungry, just as well. Humans were tired, and had been for seven months. They screamed because they were stupid, and their world ended because they made it so.

Daniel Howell screamed because he had the power over life and death.

* * *

Dan was gripping the edges of the mattress, knuckles stretched pale-white against his ashen, clammy, wet skin. Another searing convulsing pain ripped against his lower abdomen, barely registering in his mind that it was the tenth one in the last twenty minutes. He would've been relived at that, had the boy not been in this state for 28 hours already.

A low moan made its way up his raw throat, escaping bloodied, chapped lips as he fought with everything he had to rid the pain. He doubled over in the rusty bed, twisting his aching fingers with the crippled sheets of the thin bedding. A soft touch caressed itself down his back, and suddenly Dan thought he saw stars through the backs of his eyes that were screwed agonisingly shut.

The taste of metal leaked into his mouth, dribbled down his chin and onto the stained bedding, yet he didn't even notice. Louise, who was unfortunately their only doctor in the group, kept telling him that he shouldn't keep bitting down on his own lips, because he had already ended up tearing the soft flesh – but her voice was so far gone from where his mind could understand, so Dan didn't even remember how to listen.

As the contraction peaked, the sounds coming from his mouth were louder, and the unshed, burning tears were nearly streaming down his already damp cheeks. His forehead pressed against the mattress as he screamed within the small space between his face and the bed – or at least he thought he was screaming. He wasn't sure if he could hear his own voice anymore, nor be sure that the hand stroking up and down his spine was real.

As soon as the intense pressure eased, Dan collapsed sideways onto the bed, knees up to his chest as far as they could go around his heavily swollen abdomen. His breaths came in heavy, laboured cycles and from a voice – that was distorted and drowned out as if it were underwater –, he vaguely recognised that it was encouraging him. It was kind of stupid, he used to think, how he was being praised for breathing – but, in the wake of 4AM, after more than a full day of labour, in the fucking Apocalypse, and choking on the fact that breathing was actually pretty difficult right now... Dan fucking deserved that praise. He was in the process of giving someone else life. That had to count for, like, _everything_ , right?

That thought was huge as much as it was terrifying.

"You are doing so well, Dan – okay, love?" The gentlest voice from beside him whispered, and Dan started to cry because Phil was grounding him, like he was Dan's gravity entirely, but also the escape from it all. The pain of the past hours was as lucid as the love, and that was undeniably intense – but also the most amazing thing in the world. Dan would've let go from his anchor if he knew how, but Phil was as constant as the blood in his veins, and without the other man in his world, his world wouldn't exist.

People have said humanity had lost the universe already, but Phil was still here – still alive–, so Dan knew that everyone else were wrong.

"Please," He gasped and choked, snot and blood and tears running down his face. He squirmed back and forth on the bed, legs twisting with his head at the opposite end of the fame. One side of his warm, sweaty forehead was pressed against the hard mattress. "Stay – with me," He said achingly, unable to catch his breath.

"Dan, I'm right here, I'm yours." Phil whispered, crouching on the cold, hard floor to meet his best friend at eye level, bodies close, and stoking the younger boy's damp auburn hair away from his eyes.

Phil looked over towards the dirty, shattered window to which silver moonlight leaked through from the constellated sky. They were pretty high up in this old hospital, so the screams and cries of the night couldn't be heard from where their group had taken shelter in. This wasn't a forever base location – as the infected would shred this place to ribbons in a matter of days once the herd moved closer towards the edge of the city – but it was somewhere safe for the time being.

They're whole group had all been ready for this specific moment for months, as having a baby during Armageddon was definitely an eventful situation – knowing where to go, what to collect, how to plan a fast escape if things went the way they typically did (furthermore, even with their only actual medical professional from the previous world teaching Phil what to do if she got separated from Dan and himself when _it_ happens).

It was just the two of them right now, and had been for the majority of the night. It'd been quiet, except for their talking – along with Dan's moans when it got particularly painful. Phil hated the sound, and the silence. London wasn't suppose to be quiet. The sirens and cars and trains were intangible from a world Phil couldn't even remember to dream about.

And now, there would be a child in this world who would never know the sound of the lively city – just the ashes of its remains, only the screams.

Dan's sharp inhale brought Phil out from his own conscious, and instantly the older boy was by him again.

"I d-don't – don't know how much longer – I can do this." He groaned, body going rigid at Phil's cool touch. He was exhausted. Durning the first half, especially at the beginning, Dan had been walking around a lot – moving from the bed, to the window pane, down the abandoned hallway, back to Phil's arms, and again and again the cycle would just repeat. Contractions were further apart then, and Dan was restless and irritated – but now the contractions were frequent, the most intense they'd even been, and he couldn't even stand on his feet anymore. He was in agony, and they both hated every second of it, but nonetheless, Phil had been beside him through it all, despite hating himself for every second Dan was in pain.

"You can, Dan. You're so strong, okay? You're almost there, it's nearly over. We'll all be okay after that." Phil told him, softly murmuring in his ear, like Dan's strengh could be savoured by Phil's meaningless nothings. He didn't know when 'all over' was, but there was hope Dan wouldn't suffer much more at knowing that there was an 'all over'.

The younger boy moaned a mere form of a response, twisting his body as he felt a new wave of the relentless contacting straining from his stomach and shooting up his spine. Phil looked at his best friend and had to close his eyes, just for a moment, and felt sickly horrible for it. He wondered if it was some kind of biological instinct – the need to protect his significant other from anything hurting him as much as this was – but it was so incredibly hard when Phil was left completly and utterly useless in this moment, aside from words that floated lifelessly through the stuffy air. The sight of Dan like this tore at his heart in a suffocating kind of way, and guilt hung heavy in his lungs.

"Oh, God –" Dan breathed, pushing himself up so he was on all fours upon the mattress. Sweaty, curly hair fell across his face as his head hung low while he rocked achingly back and forth on his knees. His stomach clenched from the change in position, more so because of the contraction, and Dan let out a sob because is was too much. "Oh, my God."

Phil was instantly comforting him, gently rubbing his back in any effort to bring the younger boy relief, carefully though, as if he was afraid his own caresses would break Dan further. "Should I get Louise?"

Dan managed to shake his head – a mistake that caused the static white noise in his head to turn into a searing migraine from a brilliant cocktail of dehydration, labour, and the apocalypse. "I-I don't want – anyone here." He groaned, and Phil's heart caught in his throat because not having the one person in their group who knew what they were doing was even more fucking terrifying than how it already was. "Just you."

"But I-I –" Phil stammered, though Dan glaring at him through glassy, agonised dark eyes made the older boy shut up instantly. Phil vaguely thought about opposing to Dan shifting his position, concerned that it might cause him even more discomfort than he was already in, though Phil knew that now was definitely not a time where Dan would be argued with. He was stubborn and defiant –even when not in labor–, so any of Phil's suggestions would be meet with that feisty look to which Dan was staring back at him with right now.

While placing one foot down painstakingly onto the dirty, tiled floor, Dan moved himself off the bed, only using the rusting, metal frame as a beam of support so he wouldn't collapse. "I can't take this – God, Phil, I have to stand up."

Phil simply moved closer to him, taking Dan's form in his hands, holding him up to keep the other boy steady. "It's okay, I'll help you."

Dan clutched onto Phil's arms as the older boy supported most of his partner's weight. Their eyes caught, and Phil honestly thought Dan might pass out from the look of absolute exhaustion in his hazelnut irises. The smudgy, darkness underneath them was far too evident that he'd been awake for way too long, as well as the shaking of his body when he stood, but Phil knew that that was a mixture of fatigue and pain. Curly hair – that Phil had been lightly pushing back – was oily, tangled and damp. It glistened against the light of the moon through the window, much like his sweaty forehead and cheeks did under the same skylight.

Overall, Dan looked like shit, and the worry that this would carry on for many more hours was petrifying. He wanted Dan asleep in a clean, warm bed with their child in his arms, so far away from here that it wasn't even a place they were escaping to, but a time: the past.

"Phil –" He gasped, suddenly feeling a nauseating wave collide with his chest as he felt fluid run down the insides of his legs and drip onto his ankles, staining the already dirty floor. That was his water breaking. His fucking water br – _holy fuck_. His eyes darted to his best friend's, searching for any kind of solace as the panicked reality hit him that this was happening right _now_.

"Dan, it's alright, okay?" Phil tried to sooth, keeping his voice as calm as it could possibly be at the moment. If Dan wasn't in the state he was in right now, he would've seen right passed Phil's facade and probably laughed at how bad the other boy was at coving up his terrified distress. "You need to lie back now, while I get –"

Dan made a sharp inhale, grunting as he clutched his lower body just under his huge stomach. "No," he choked out, shutting his eyes and breathing irregularly in an attempt to get the pain to stop.

"Dan, I have no idea of what I'm doing!" He tried not to shriek, but the panic in his voice was too evident. His head was running through all the things that could go horribly wrong, and, _God_ , this was not the time to be fighting about it. "We need help. You can't do this alone."

" – 'M _not_ alone." He harshly whispered back, side eying Phil from beneath his hair where it had fallen in front of his eyes due to him bending forward. Phil went to go steady Dan by grasping the other boy's arms again, because Dan suddenly went worryingly paler and Phil was afraid he'd pass out. "Fuck, I think I'm gonna throw up."

 _Or that_ , Phil absentmindedly thought, but before he could even coherently react, Dan had violent vomited down his own clothes, just missing Phil, but ending up on the now disgusting floor.

Dan pushed himself away from Phil's touch, clutching the side of the bed while he felt the acidic taste burn in his throat, retching again next to the rusty framework of the metal hospital bed. "Nghh... 'm sorry."

Once Phil found out that his legs could work again, he moved back to Dan instantly, rubbing his back in circles as the other fought for his breath again. He found it so incredibly stupid that Dan was apologising right now, but understood at least _why_. Dan couldn't handle much more of this, that much was obvious – but Phil knew, or at least prayed to a God he never used to believe in, that this had to be nearing the end.

"Don't worry about it, Dan. I won't get anyone else if you don't want me to. Louise taught me enough to do this... _I hope_." He added aloud as a lingering thought that he begged Dan didn't hear – he needed all the reassurance he could get right this moment, even if it was in the knowledge that Phil didn't doubt his non-existent abilities to deliver a baby... dear, _God_.

Dan threw his head back onto the mouldy pillow once his body fell against the mattress, letting out a low-pitched wail as a contraction overlapped the previous one. There was no break in between anymore, and immediately, after 28 hours, everything was happening all at once.

"I-I – can feel... I need to –" He panted, feeling that agonising feeling people talked about when they gave birth, which he assumed was the urge to push, and Phil realised what he was saying even without Dan choking out the whole sentence.

He had his legs propped up on the bed, with Phil at the other end, seeing the baby's head starting to crown. "O-Oh, my God." Phil stuttered, as the world felt like it was coming down around his senses, because he could see their _child_ , in the flesh. Their baby was as real as the air they breathed, as the love he felt towards Dan, and as significant as the whole universe – so outer-worldly, extraordinarily that Phil was frozen by the amount of surrealism that collided through his whole worldly existence.

Dan's scream brought him out of the dreamlike trance, and when he looked up to met the boy's pained, scrunched-up face, he noticed that Dan's pallor had probably gone as white as how his own was normally, and Phil wondered if he _himself_ looked even paler now. Both for very different reasons, of course, but Phil still wasn't entirely over seeing their baby in a way that shocked his entire world. It was the most electrifyingly terrifying feeling that radiated through his whole body at the moment, but also the most amazing, life-changing beacon of hope in this absolute shit-hole of mankind.

"This hurts so _fucking_ mu —" Dan clenched his eyes shut, closing his fists into tight balls, trying to focus on pushing, but it felt so impossible when it was _this_ intense. "I-I can't... I don't wan'..." Maybe he was crying at this point, but he honestly didn't know or care. " _God_ , Phil, make this stop!"

Phil tried to make useless, insignificant mumbles of language leave his mouth, but the connection between his brain and vocal cords was severed. He wanted to relive the screaming, sobbing boy in front of him more than he wanted food, or water, or air for himself in these fucked-up times, though Phil was sure he was crying, too.

Dan slitted his eyes open just enough to make out Phil's blurry, frozen face at the foot of the bed. His partner was kneeled down, hands in front of Dan's lower half ready to deliver their baby, and everything felt off and insane and like static all at once, so much so that Dan couldn't breathe.

"O-Okay... On the next one, push as much as you can, alright?" He heard Phil tell him, and somehow his best friend's quieter, breathy voice made him feel safe instantly. Dan nodded weakly, putting his chin to his chest as his felt the painful wave about to tear through his body. He knew he was screaming before it even peaked, so much so that he couldn't hear Phil's exclamations of encouragement. "Just like that, Dan."

After ten seconds, Phil's voice rang through his ears telling him to stop – something about tearing, and Dan knew that that would be pretty bad considering they had no medical supplies besides a bottle of paracetamol. In that moment, however, logic had left his mind and he couldn't think about anything else but stopping the pain that corrupted his whole body and stole his breath. "No! No – I h-have to –"

"Just breathe, okay? Everything's alright, Dan. I just don't want you to hurt anymore than you already do, so you need to breathe now, love. The head's nearly out, but you'll tear if you keep rushing it."

"' _Breathe_ ' – I'm _trying_! I-I can't –"

Dan cried out again, surely being heard by all the others in their group who were elsewhere, but it didn't matter. It was only them in this very moment – the three of them, and that's all it needed to be.

"That's it, Dan. You're doing amazing." Phil said, placing his hands below the baby's head as it emerged, first making sure the cord wasn't wrapped around its neck like Louise had warned him around, then checking on Dan to see the younger boy collapsing back towards the mattress, knowing the hardest part had to be over.

"I think after the next few pushes, the baby'll be here. Are you ready?" Phil told him, and once again Dan nodded, mumbling something that the older boy didn't actually think were real words.

One more strain, and that's all it took, with even less force than the last one had been. And after that, the Earth seemed as if it had stopped spinning. The low growls signalling the odd Infectious lurking within the city's alley ways were silent, the screams of humanity – of Dan's pain ceased, and even their breaths stalled for a moment while they just stared at the most beautiful thing in a world full of torture and agony and inhumanity. _She_ was the utopia that parallel oppositely against whatever hell they lived in.

She wailed, though Dan and Phil heard it as fireworks that celebrated the beginning of everything. Her cries were the greatest, blazing light they never knew they needed in this hell called Earth, but despite it being just that, they knew it wouldn't last – not with her being here.

Phil held the tiny, delicate thing that would change the world in his arms, and Dan reached out a tired hand to feel her bloodied, matted, light hair and soft skin against his own.

Everything was so much, but in a good way, and they cried because nothing could ever be bad again as long as she was theirs.

**Author's Note:**

> placenta.
> 
> u know how they say, write something you want to read... well this was that, because nobody else wanted this in their lives. but, hey, you're scarred now so... you're welcome ;)
> 
> \- euphoricxdystopia


End file.
